Boxes
This question always stumps me. I’m sure there are some of you that don’t know how to answer it either.
“What are you up to these days?”
It’s a seemingly simple, and maybe innocent question. But the longer we live the more difficult it is to answer! You kinda have to think about the past for context to answer this question and then weave in what’s relatively important to share in the present time. I don’t really have a simple answer, but I typically say that I’m a Jack of many trades and every day is an adventure. It’s not a lie but there’s a lot more to you and me than what we do for jobs! I know some of you wrestle with this seemingly simple question as well.
The struggle in the answer for me comes from boxes. It sure doesn’t seem like life fits into a conventional box right now. And there are many things that haven’t worked out the way I thought or are completely out of my control so there’s really not a feeling of “checking the boxes” either. I don’t know why some things haven’t developed and I’m disappointed by the responses of some in the process. But the battle is over my perspective of being outside the box and checking a box and fortunately God has some insight on this! Some of you are probably wrestling with identity, placement, and timing too.
I actually think that this tension means we are on God’s timing and plan and that there’s purpose into a life of outside the box and not checking boxes! We can choose to grow and choose to trust that there are indeed things that are actually better for us if we wait. But as Tom Petty once crooned, “The waiting is the hardest part”!
A few weeks ago, my jobs for the week included detailing cars and sitting in for the same teacher several days in a row as a substitute. Now these two jobs don’t exactly go hand in hand. One doesn’t lead to success in another. But they really aren’t all that different when you think outside the box and aren’t fixated on checking boxes.
Detailing a car seems like a job where you follow a pattern and plan. If you do certain things in a certain order you get a shiny car. And you can say it’s detailed. But as I’ve learned from a friend, there’s a lot of variety to every car. There’s no script, just a lot of picking, polishing, and touching. You fuss over every inch in order to get it perfect. Some colors are more difficult than others. Some vehicles are beasts while others are simple. Some paint is thin, some is thick, some people are neat and tidy while some others are…well, they like to eat a lot in their cars! You can’t just follow a script, call the car detailed, and get the best result.
Substituting can be one of those jobs where you follow a script too. That’s wise to do so but the reality is that with long stretches of time and teenagers, well, you have to think on the fly. When there is too much idle time there’s an increased risk of poor behavior or for things to go a bit sideways. So, it’s important to strike up a conversation, to get to know the kids, and to pass the time well. If you simply exist off of checking boxes school starts to feel more like passing time rather than an educational experience. Just sitting in a classroom doesn’t make one a teacher.
While we may appreciate having things be in our order (fitting in a box) and feeling productive (by checking off a box) I think we should be careful of what we sacrifice for these perceived comforts. God doesn’t always place us in a box or want us to check things off in order to get them done. He desires relationship. And often a season of life exists to get us comfortable with the uncomfortable and to think differently than we did before. It’s called growth and often it’s not by our choice but rather by our response! Knowing about Jesus is waaaaaay different than following Jesus.
If you read in Exodus, you’ll witness a lot of out the box experiences for Moses. You’ll read about different plagues and miracles that God sent to get the Israelites out of Egypt and towards the Promised Land. And just the fact that Moses was their leader showed the value of relationship with God rather than checking the boxes of a leadership resume. They moved when God said, ate what he provided, and lived through miracles. They were also impatient and grumpy.
You see, when Moses went up the mountain to visit God they waited behind. And while Moses gained favor, wisdom, and deepened his relationship with God they decided that they should create their own little god in the form of a golden calf. In their minds they needed to check a box. In their anxiousness they tried to take control of the situation and create their own god rather than wait. So off went their jewelry and out came a golden calf that not only checked a box as something to worship but gave them the ability to move and do their own things their own way and in their own timing. They were experiencing God at every turn of their journey and yet their impatience was a rebellion against God.
Needless to say, Moses was not happy, and God really wasn’t happy. Moses knew that a life of faith meant doing things differently. It meant submission. Moses was the kind of guy that understood leading well meant following even better! And he followed God; across the desert, through a dried riverbed, and up a mountain. He wasn’t perfect but his life of out of the box living and refusal to just check boxes led others to their destination.
Time with God sure has a different pace and rhythm to it, doesn’t it?
The urgency of the Israelites to check a box was their downfall. To follow God sometimes means waiting. Waiting while doors close, waiting while doubting, and waiting while feeling behind.
Are you feeling a life outside of a box? Is your life not checking the boxes in your mind? I think you are among many that feel that way. To answer, “What are you up to these days?” might be to answer simply “I’m outside of the box and not checking boxes, but I’m not done yet!”. Your ministry is in the waiting. It’s being obedient when you desperately want something to happen. It’s being outside of the box not by choice but because it’s where God has you to prune, shape, and mold. You can’t rush art…and God is painting a story that is uniquely you.
