One to Navigate it All
A new bike has been on my mind for quite some time. That’s probably not surprising to you since I often write about riding a bike and the lessons and joys I’ve learned on those journeys. A new bike is very exciting and I’m sure new things for your hobby crosses your mind too!
So a new bike to me would be a turn in a new direction. I’m looking to have one bike that is more versatile than the specialty bikes that have typically cluttered up our garage. In all of my years I thought there was a need for a specific bike for a specific type of riding. If I was doing triathlon I needed a triathlon bike. Mountains called for a mountain bike. Fast road riding meant a speedy road machine. You get the idea. For every place I wanted to ride, it was easy to warrant a new bike!
But now things are different and with my miles in my legs and age in my bones I kinda want simple. I want to ride the same bike across more terrain. I’d like to simplify and just run with one; or at least a lot less than many! Whatever my bike situation looks like I’d like to focus more on the pedaling and less on the machine that I”m riding. There are many types of bikes but you can only pedal one at a time.
Just like there are many kinds of bikes I can also say there are many emotions of grieving. Riding bikes and all is fun but life gives you moments, experiences, and seasons of grief. And within that grief are all of the emotions.
I can say that grieving is very personal. And it wins; there is no conquering grief, there is just the process of learning to respond and maybe not react to it all the time. There’s a difference between responding and reacting, you know.
When you enter into a heavy grieving season you may find yourself riding a bunch of different bikes. There’s a bike for sadness. For discouragement. A bike for disappointments. Offended? There’s a bike for that. Angry? Sure. Feeling wounded and worn out. That might be a tandem bike but there is a bike for that. Isolated and lonely are grieving bikes too. You can list your own emotions of grief and pedal that bike.
While I was contemplating grief and maybe daydreaming about a new bike to help that grief I read about Peter. More specifically Peter at the end of the book of John. Peter was a guy with all the grief going on. He raged against the mob that was arresting Jesus and was rebuked by Jesus. Then he denied Jesus three times and saw his Rabbi, his friend, and his mentor crucified. Then he went back to being a lousy fisherman. And by the time we see Peter at the end of John we see him reunited with Jesus. Peter is restored and happy.
And this is when Jesus lays out a specific instruction to Peter. Jesus asks Peter 3 times if he loves him; which rips open the wounds of his previous denial. I’m sure Peter was crumbling with all of the emotions as 3 times Jesus instructed him to tend to the “flock”. Jesus laid out the direction Peter was to go and the life of hardship that was awaiting him.
Peter did not deny Jesus this time. Jesus had risen from the dead and defeated sin; Now that story needed to be told. But when Peter heard the hardships he wondered if others would have the same journey. His future seemed, shall we say, not so smooth sailing. He was looking backwards when Jesus was pulling Peter forward.
I would have loved to hear the tone or deflection in Jesus' voice at this time but in John it basically says “what difference does it make to you if they live? Follow me!”.
Peter had purpose despite the season of grief he had just walked through. And in a few moments on a beach he went through every emotion you could think of. Our boy Peter was riding a lot of different bikes of emotions as Jesus’ conversation evolved. But by the end Jesus was very simple, very plain; Follow Him.
As humans we are wired to have emotion. And life on earth is anything but perfect and there will be times of loss. Times of grief. Times of many different emotions. Those are all normal! But perhaps a way through all of those is to not just sit on one of them and ride that specific bike but rather use the One bike to help us process it. It’s not about the bike of frustration or hurt but rather the process of pedaling with Jesus to help us work through those emotions.
Jesus didn’t deny that Peter had all of those emotions but loved him too much to let him stew, or stay, with just one of those all the time. Jesus simply told him to go take care of the lambs and sheep (the new church), to accept it was going to be difficult, and to follow Jesus. Peter was to pedal one bike while he pedaled the gospel.
The process of grieving has many, many emotions. They are real. And personal. Part of responding to those is to hang on to Jesus. Pedal through it with Him rather than pedal the emotion. The emotions are real but we don’t have to sit on them. There is a pathway forward. The pain is real but there’s growth there and perhaps growth and encouragement for others through you. Ask Peter. He changed a lot from our introduction to him to when he wrote his own letters in the Bible. His change didn’t happen from pedaling a bike of each emotion. His change happened when he followed Jesus to help him respond instead of reacting to his emotions!
It’s a process, this pedaling. Peter sensed the shift. He simplified and sent it!
I’m looking for one bike to travel many paths. Can we lean on the one Jesus to traverse our many emotions? I think we can.
