Turning Hearts
For seven months it bubbled under the surface. It started with a realization that we would have some extra time on our hands and a rather flippant idea. Then it evolved into some poking around, some investigating, and then some commitment. And once things started to take shape we had a “boys trip” all set for June.
The catalyst for this was actually my wife. She created the boys’ trip by being out of the country on her own “bucket-list” trip. I always would rather have Jan along but since she would be gone the boys decided we needed to play! While we would be happy to stay at home and eat burgers, ice cream, and ride bikes we thought we would take the show on the road and check out some places that we haven’t been to. We planned a trip to Bentonville, Arkansas and then back through Tennessee that checked the boxes of riding lots of mountain bike trails, catching some scenic railroads and trains, and walking down Broadway in Nashville. I eyed up routes, things of interest, and then took inventory of how much I actually wanted to drive at one time. I was committed to making this thing happen and we made our plans.
As the departure day crept closer I kept hearing the boys mention how excited they were to go. They would chew on our trip for a few days and then drop another idea and see if it was something we could manage to accommodate. I couldn’t say no because It was truly great to hear the excitement come from two teenagers that were willing to get in a truck and spend a whole week with their Dad.
We did it all and then some. We had a blast and while some issues popped up we found a way to keep going and keep having a great time.
Now that our little foray into the middle of America has come and gone, we still talk about the trip. I have such contentment in taking the time and absorbing the expense of spending every minute of every day with them. They talk fondly of the adventures we came up with and produced. We’re all both happy and content. It’s not even what we did as much as being united in doing it all!
Ever since I found myself coaching teenagers and now substitute teaching a bit, I have said that kids need dads. I have said this because I have experienced what it feels like to do be under a great father’s wings and I enjoy passing whatever I can to my boys. But I felt the need for fathers deep within me as I walked halls with kids and tried to move them along athletically. It was just something I noticed and felt. I can’t even say that I’ve done much in the way of deep coaching with track and field or running; or even educating in certain subject areas. I just see the need for kids to have functional fathers around because so much of learning about life comes from fathers. Kids want someone to talk to on their level that shows interest. Kids want help with processing life.
The feedback I’ve received about my coaching was way more about fatherhood and less about how to run the perfectly-paced mile! It might not be what I was hired for, but the need is out there and the time is now.
There’s an awful lot of information and opinions about how to be the best dad. But I don’t think you can boil it down to a system or process. I do think that the last chapter of Malachi paints a simple and sweet encouragement for the times we live in and gives a simple instruction for healthy relationships.
5- Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet
Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD.
6- And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children,
And the hearts of the children to their fathers,
Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.
There will be a time that fathers (and mothers) have their hearts turn towards their children. And children will have their hearts turn towards their parents. They will have been apart for a time, but God will open hearts and prepare unity between them again.
Man, when you read “turn the hearts of the fathers to the children” it defines a total shift and change. It becomes far more emotional and authentic rather than a position of status. I love that! The longing in the kids I’ve interacted with at school is this turning of their hearts; they just might not be able to describe it as that. Social media can’t quench this thirst. Programs and camps can be good, but nothing will compare to a personal, relational, turning of hearts from a functional father. The two-way turning of hearts is God’s design. The turning of hearts is a tangible encounter with God. Family thrive with this because we relate to each other using the same love that God shows us.
When I hear the excitement about a trip that I pulled off with my boys I smile. It’s great to be together and while it’s a lot of absolutely wonderful times there are always moments where we have to work through a problem, a struggle, or a hardship. But we always smile because on the other side of those things we are still together. I’d imagine God smiles too when we acknowledge the blessing of time with Him and the provision of wonderful times and the protection and peace in the hard times. We can turn our hearts towards our heavenly Father in these days too. I’ve found that as I come to know God more that I’m much better at setting the tone and “thermostat” in our family. If I see things His way then I need to pass that along by turning my heart towards our family. Without the posture of the heart it’s just doing life by rules, regulations, and pursuing things that really don’t matter.
Kids are ready to turn their hearts to their parents. And parents, you might have to make some shifts so that your hearts are turned back towards the kids. Stay moldable. Stay available. Stay rooted in Jesus. There’s not another good option, at least by what was written in Malachi. Curses and dreadful days sound terrible; it’s much better to let God turn hearts and restore relationships!
